New Comic Book Day XVIII

There looks to be a decent amount of goodness this week with mystery Marvel beatdowns at Camp Avengers, a triple dose of Marvel Matt Fraction, more Marvel mutants getting their @$$es handed to them, and the marvelous Legion of Doom reenacting the final season of JLU. The most anticipated book of the week award goes to Grant Morrison's batty take on an Agatha Christie classic in Batman #669. And while the writing's good, this one gets the prize for JH Williams III's ridiculously good design. His art is pretty fantastic, but his layouts make your elbows jiggle. If you're into that sort of thing.

The NFL Abridged: Week III

(BAL 26 - ARI 23) Ha! Leinart was so bad that had to put in Kurt "Old Ass Man Who Gets Beaten By His Wife" Warner! Ha! Boldin tore it up for the Cards with 181 yards and a couple touchdowns, but they still lost. Shocking.

(SD 24 - GB 31) Holy crap does Norv Turner suck. Meanwhile, no one's discovered Brett Favre's box of bionic limbs yet.

(STL 3 - TB 24) Frighteningly, Tampa Bay could seriously win their division if Delhomme doesn't return to the Panthers soon.

(SF 16 - PIT 37) Pittsburgh is still undefeated and still looks pretty great.

(DET 21 - PHI 56) I still say Donovan is overrated. Four touchdowns be damned.

(MIA 28 - NYJ 31) Yawn. Although Pussington actually rushed for a score... then cried.

(BUF 7 - NE 38) Douches.

(MIN 10 - KC 13) Still no points for Grandmama 2.0.

(IND 30 - HOU 24) Definitely not as close as the score makes this one seem. Joseph Addai is clearly superhuman.

(CIN 21 - SEA 24) No celebrations for Ocho Cinco, but he got 138 yards. Starbucks still got the win.

(CLE 24 - OAK 26) Nothing's more exciting than games that end with field goal / timeout shenanigans.

(JAC 23 - DEN 14) The Jags were on the field so long that Travis Henry only got 35 yards rushing. He did finally pull a TD though.

(NYG 24 - WAS 17) Reuben Droughns only got one more yard than he did touchdowns.

(CAR 27 - ATL 20) Someone in Carolina should buy DeAngelo Hall a nice fruit basket or something.

(DAL 34 - CHI 10) Yadda yadda, Rex sucks, yadda yadda...

(TEN 31 - NO 14) Captain Skidmark had four interceptions and zero touchdowns. He's probably missing the days of big drums and grand prix's right about now.

What Have You Done, McNulty?

Today in the world of 'Sweet Lord, What Is He Thinking?', Dominic West has inexplicably joined the cast of the next Punisher movie. Apparently satisfied with playing the greatest television role of all time on The Wire, West has decided to use no discretion whatsoever in his selection of big screen roles and will take on the character of the villain Jigsaw. The Punisher: Warzone will also feature Dennis Nedry / Newman himself in the role of Frank Castle's sidekick, Microchip. More like Macrochip! Ha! Unfortunately, all this means that I will eventually be forced to watch this crapfest sequel of a crapfest. Let's just hope they don't bring back John Travolta as a ghost or some @#$%. Then they could put Nic Cage in the movie too.

Behold...

The shiny beam of glimmering hope that shall save us all from the wickedness that is Rex Grossman!