Let's Hope Karma Has Our Back Tonight

Just to recap, Rajon "Bitchmove" Rondo slugs Brad Miller in the mouth, knocks him so silly he can't hit his game tying free throws, and doesn't get a flagrant called. Meanwhile, in Orlando, Dwight Howard swings a dainty elbow that barely brushes Samuel Dalembert and gets suspended a game. I better see Aaron Gray take a tire iron to Rondo in the top of the second.

So This Exists Now

That's right, ESPN finally recognized and gave Chicago its own homepage.

Looks Like Whiskey To Me

New Bears QB, Jay Cutler doing his best Kyle Orton.

Dye And Konerko Play Dueling 300's

Both Jermaine Dye and Paul Konerko hit their 300th home runs yesterday in a 10-6 win over the Detroit Tigers. Not only did they reach the milestone in the same game, but in consecutive at bats, with Konerko following up Dye's second inning dinger with one of his own. The game also saw the loss of Dewayne Wise to a separated shoulder. Jerry Owens will take his place in center, but if things don't work out, the Sox resigned legendary hot-wife-haver Scott Podsednik to a minor-league deal as insurance.

Neckbeard No More

The Kyle Orton era is over in Chicago. The Bears traded him and two first round picks today for Denver's even dopier looking and overrated QB, Jay Cutler. No word yet on Cutler's whiskey of choice, but I'm guessing Early Times.