Be Kind To Mos Def

Be Kind Rewind is an awkward movie. Don't get me wrong, I liked it, but I also wanted to like it, which may have helped me get past its problems. The main story line is somewhat cliched and fairly disjointed and the script could have used another couple passes. In fact, several actors seem like their performances are mostly improvisational. Of course, this is probably entirely intentional. After all, the movie isn't really about the story, or the script, or the actors. It's not even about making Sweded versions of movies. It's about why people like movies. Michel Gondry creates a childlike, nostalgic world, to bring you back to a time when you could literally be awestruck by a movie, when you could truly fall in love with a film and watch it over and over again until it no longer existed on a worn out VHS tape, but became a part of you. You could replay the scenes in your mind, cast yourself as the lead, and make the lines your own. That is truly what Sweding represents, and the film is able to convey that with the assistance of the dramatically creative visuals you've come to expect from Gondry. So while you may find yourself just wanting to watch more Swedes and skip the story, there is a reason that story is there. But, yeah, if the whole movie was just two hours of them recreating Ghostbusters, that would have been good too.
A- (but it would have been a B if bustin' didn't make me feel so good)

The Quick Stack

Captain America #35
(A+) Somehow, Brubaker continues to make campy @#$% from the 60's seem completely feasible and badass in reality.

Daredevil #105
(A) Apparently it's pretty entertaining to see just how much Matt Murdock can get @#$% on.

X-Men Legacy #208
(A-) It's good, but could get pretty old pretty quick... Endangered Species old. At least it's probably safe to say Professor X isn't a Skrull.

Kick Ass #1
(B) There's potential, but it hasn't quite kicked mine yet.

Thor #6
(B-) For some reason, I enjoy reading it, but this mother @#$%er better throw his hammer at somebody soon.

Expletive Expletive Expletive

@#$%!

No Mo Fro

The Chicago Bulls have finally tricked someone into taking Ben Wallace's 80 trillion dollar, 40 year contract. In a three way, eleven player deal with Cleveland and Seattle, the Bulls got Larry "Underused" Hughes and Drew "An Actual Low Post Scoring Option" Gooden and freed themselves of their Big Ben burden. Unfortunately, they also had to give up their best player, 65-year-old Joe Smith, and journeyman Adrian Griffin, as well as a 2nd round pick. Cleveland, who received Wallace and Smith, also got Wally "Yacht Club" Szczerbiak and Delonte West from the Sonics while Seattle got Griffin, Ira Newble, and Donyell Marshall's expiring contract. The Bulls also pulled Cedric Simmons and Sannon Brown in case you've ever heard of them. Now, with a more flexible salary and an expendable shooting guard (Gordon or Hughes), Chicago actually has a chance of rebounding from an abysmal season in which they were once predicted to be the best in the East. Of course, while they are currently in tenth place at 21-32, with the new additions they'll most likely make the playoffs and lose out on their chance of a lottery pick.

Kelvin's Last Stand

After cloberella-ing ninth ranked Michigan State on Saturday, the Indiana Hoosiers will face their arch rival Purdue Boilermakers on Tuesday night. It will likely be Kelvin Sampson's final game, as he is expected to be terminated this week due to illegal recruiting allegations. Hoosier fans can only hope this premature dismissal will circumvent any post-season penalties the NCAA could place on Indiana. IU and Purdue are ranked 14th and 15th respectively and are currently in a three way battle with Wisconsin for Big Ten supremacy. Indiana big man, DJ White may or may not play due to a sprained knee, though it isn't likely he'll want to miss this one. If he can't go, Eric Gordon, the Big Ten's leading scorer, will be expected to carry even more of the load than usual. Adding to the intrigue, Purdue's Robbie Hummel was apparently one of the players illegally solicited by Sampson. Of course, Hummel's poor decision making ultimately took him to West Lafayette, where he will cry himself to sleep tonight after a devastating loss and the realization that he could have gone to a school where the females don't look like Pizza the Hut from Space Balls riding a retarded donkey through the Ugly Stick Forest. Also, they have skidmarks on their thongs and wear dog food perfume.

Have You Seen Me?

If found, please contact me immediately.

And Now, Something For The Ladies...

...That's not in my pants.

There's An Indy Trailer

Still not sure how to feel about this one.

Special Wishes...

Happy Homo-Erotic
Anthropomorphic
Mutant Villain Day!

Logan Likes Foo Fighters

There's finally a trailer for the new Wolverine And The X-men cartoon. Looks sort of like a cross between Evolution and the movies. It could be less than terrible... or it could be as bad as Fantastic Four. At least Beast doesn't have a giant "X" painted on his chest. Meanwhile, the poopatronic-WB-The Batman-looking Spectacular Spider-Man premieres on March 8th and an Iron Man cartoon is in the works as well. Hulk can't be far behind.

Miami Math

An Open Letter To The Illini

You can boo all you want, Illinois. Go ahead and throw your beads and ice cubes at an innocent family. Hell, you can even have MIchael Jordan's son on your team. It won't matter. Eric Gordon will punk you like the @#$%& you are every time. You hit him with the cheap Chester Frazier body check before the game. You held him to one point in the first half. You even took him to two overtimes. But, like in 90% of the games you play, you lost. So give up, and stop the hate. Yes, it's true, Gordon originally agreed to play for you, but is it any wonder he realized what chumps you are and went to a real program? You wear orange for @#$%'s sake. Stop blaming Eric for the fact you suck. Blame the fact that you can't hit free throws. Blame the fact that you can't close games. Or better yet, get over it and drink enough Natty Light that the girls at your school actually start to look attractive.

The Saddest Man On Earth

So I just finished reading the final few issues of Y: The Last Man. I now must keep all sharp objects and large quantities of cough syrup away from myself at all times. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go listen to Elliott Smith's Needle In The Hay while giving myself a haircut.

Going Gently Into The Knight

The winningest men's basketball coach in NCAA Division I history has announced his retirement. That's correct, Bob Knight has left the game, and not with a bang, choke, or chair throw. He will quietly step aside and hand the reigns of the Texas Tech Red Raiders to his son Pat. Coach Knight cited a lack of passion and general wear and tear as his reasoning. His departure left the Texas Tech players and staff in a fragile emotional state, to which he replied, "Jesus, guys, I didn't die. I'm just not coaching."

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Congratulations, Circus Peanut, Jr.