Starbury To Write For Penthouse Forum

After learning he would be relegated to coming off the bench, Stephon Dinglebury skipped Tuesday night's game in Phoenix, infuriated that head coach, Isiah Thomas was not going to start him. The Knicks have fined Marbury over $180,000 for the tantrum and it is unknown whether he will ever play another game in the blue and orange, not that there would be many teams eager to trade for him. Besides his me-first attitude and steady decline in numbers, Starbury makes @$$ tons of money, making the only reason to acquire him that fact that his contract is up in two years or that he could be bought out. A move like this could free up enough cap space in 2009 to lure the like of Andre Iguodala, Emeka Okafor, Luol Deng, or even Kobe Bryant who has the option to opt out of his contract. The cap room could even be used in 2010 in the LeBron and Dwyane sweepstakes.
Of course this is Stephon Marbury we're talking about, so the drama doesn't end here. Not satisfied with the media attention that merely abandoning his team would cause, Marbury has also threatened to blackmail Isiah, stating, "Isiah has to start me. I've got so much [stuff] on Isiah and he knows it. He thinks he can [get] me. But I'll [get] him first. You have no idea what I know." What with Thomas' recent sexual harassment trial, one can only imagine the deliciously sordid tale Stephon has to tell. Was Isiah in the back of that van with Marbury and the intern? If so, how many slices of bologna were involved? Perhaps the two of them went R. Kelly on some underage ball-boys after practice. Either way, at least one of them was at one point confined in some sort of closet-like space.

The Ongoing Saga Of The NBA's Ever Growing Spectacularity

It was yet another truly awesome day for the NBA today as the Portland Trail Blazers lost this year's number one draft pick, Greg Oden, for most likely the entirety of his rookie season. Oden went under the knife for an exploratory look at his right knee, only to end up needing microfracture surgery. Once one of the few positive stories in the NBA and a seemingly generally good guy, he will now be on crutches for two months and take six to twelve to fully recover, leaving the Trail Blazers as the likely recipients of back to back top picks.

Meanwhile, on the other coast, New York Knick's point guard and captain of douchebaggery, Stephon Marbury, testified in the sexual harassment lawsuit against Isiah Thomas. He called the proceedings a joke, called the plaintiff a black b#$% and stated that "Money makes you do crazy things, man," after recounting his exploits of luring a drunken intern into a truck to play hide the Starbury outside a strip club. He also most likely threw bologna slices at her while she did a jiggly naked dance to UGK's Like That, but that's just my hypothesis. Not that there's anything wrong with throwing processed deli meat at a chick while she twerks it, but this is the self-proclaimed greatest point guard in the league who wants to be Italy's basketball Beckham and calls dog fighting a sport. He also drove away from the courthouse with his head out the window, apparently reenacting one of the acts he described on the stand. The man has class, people.