Another Boring Pacer Trade That Wouldn't Really Make Any Sense or: Maybe Larry Bird Is Just Trying To Danny Ainge Us

A young, usually broken point guard for an old, permanently broken power forward? Thanks, but no thanks. The Indiana Pacers are allegedly in discussion with the Toronto Raptors to ship their six-time All-Star and franchise player, Jermaine O'Neal out of Indy for the decidedly underwhelming T.J. Ford. Ford, a slightly above average floor general when he's not injured, has more than likely lost his starting spot to Jose Calderon and has also been mentioned in a possible swap with the Suns for Boris Diaw. The Pacers have already suffered through one point guard who shows flashes of semi-greatness but spends more time on the trainer's table than on the court. The last thing they need is a reload of Jamaal Tinsley. Why not look closer for trade options? The neighboring Chicago Bulls are in desperate need of a scoring big man and veteran leadership. They have more undersized guards than Amy Winehouse has scabies and are about to draft another one with the first pick in the draft. Kirk Hinrich has a similarly cumbersome contract to O'Neal's and is much less likely than Ford to be walking on plastic ankles by age thirty. The Pacers also have the option of taking D.J. Augustin with the 11th pick in the draft, but acquiring a point guard through a trade would free them up to fill another need... every position on the floor that can't be played by Danny Granger.

Reggie Miller Likes The Asians

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Tears Of A Hoosier

Today we mourn a great sports tragedy... and I'm not referring to the PIllsbury Roid Boy breaking Hank Aaron's record. I'm referring to the fact that one of Indiana's greatest heroes will be signing up to join the horror show that will be the 07-08 Boston Celtics. That's right folks, Scot Pollard will be wearing the evil emerald next season. Pollard may be best known for his glory days of six points and seven rebounds per game in Sacramento, but he truly touched the hearts of Pacers' fans as well in those all-too-short three seasons he wore the blue and gold. It's true, he took his bombastic samurai follicle art and Asian wife to Central Division rival Cleveland last year, but a defection to the gangrenous shamrock shooters is something else entirely. Does anyone really think Boston will have the cultural palate to truly appreciate Scot's magnificent sideburns? I say no, America. No. Even J.O.'s desire to join Satan's Lakers doesn't sting as much as this. Beelzebub can have his oft injured, always whining soul. His double-doubles will feel great till he leaves his kneecap at half court during the fifth game of the season. But Scot? Scot was a living intangible, a circus worth of personality painting the hardwood with hard work and hilarity for two and a half minutes a night. Why, the only Pacer icon that could top this wondrously coifed caveman has to be Reggie MIller himself. Wait... what's that? Read what article? That Baraka-looking bastard. Somebody hand me my Pippen jersey.

Everybody For Everybody Or: How To Piss Off As Many NBA Superstars As Possible At Once

Four NBA teams with disgruntled stars are trying to make a deal. Unfortunately, in the unlikely event that it goes through as planned, all four stars may have even more reason to be cranky babies. The proposed deal would send Kevin Garnett from the Wolves to the Lakers, Jermaine O'Neal from the Pacers to the Celtics, Lamar Odom and Andrew Bynum from Los Angeles to Indiana, and a bag full of doodie (Theo Ratliff, Gerald Green, and Sebastian Telfair) and Boston's number five pick to Minnesota. The Wolves, however, would likely hold out for Al Jefferson before okaying the deal. There are already two big problems with all this. First, Jermaine O'Neal hates Celtics director of basketball operations Danny Ainge with the fire of a thousand suns (and an unhappy JO would make an unhappy Paul Pierce); and secondly, even if the Lakers landed KG, Kobe would still want out. Also in the running for Garnett's services are the Dallas Mavericks, who apparently don't have enough perimeter big men who can't carry their team to a championship. One positive note to come from all this is that Bulls GM John Paxson text messaged (that's right, text messaged) Kobe Bryant, telling him not to expect Chicago to try and acquire him. The Bulls were on the short list of Kobe's desired destinations, but Paxson was reluctant to break up his young nucleus and sell his soul to the devil.