The NFL Abridged: Week 5

What happened to week four, you might ask? Well, Maui happened. To sum it up, Bears kicked ass and Colts were on bye. Skins beat the Stars, Denver ran out of referee mojo, and Brett Favre went ridiculous. And now, on to week five... the week that Hollywood Billiards broke my heart.

Colts 31 - Texans 27
Ok, seriously. It shouldn't be this hard. Hopefully three TD's in four minutes will be a catalyst or something.

Bears 34 - Kitty Cats 7
Finally an old school Chicago romp n' stomp.

Titans 13 - Barksdales 10
I guess Indy maybe should be worried about these guys.

Worst Team Ever (Chiefs) 0 - Panthers 34
DeAngelo Williams finally woke up, messed around, and got three thouchdowns.

Falcons 27 - Cheeseheads 24
Isn't Atlanta supposed to be terrible?

Chargers 10 - Ronnie Browns 17
Looks like the Dolphins are for reals this time... and Norv Turner probably won't be around too much longer.

Starbucks 6 - Giants 44
No Plax, no problems.

Skins 23 - Eagles 17
Apparently there are good teams in the NFC East. You may have heard this once or twice on TV.

Bucs 13 - Broncos 16
The AFC West looks like it's all horsey if the Bolts keep underachieving... although a couple of the stallions look headed for the glue factory.

Bills 17 - Cards 41
Someone's gotta win the NFC West, might as well be the team with a Police Academy officer.

Bengals 22 - Boys 31
I didn't see a star being kissed.

Douchebags 30 - Niners 21
Sigh.

Steelers 26 - Jags 21
Ben played big, but they still don't look like the team from the first couple games. Probably because they're not (what with their two top backs injured).

Vikings 30 - Saints 27
Whacky wild stuff.