Pornographic Cracker Jack Prize

As if cutting back to four peanuts per box weren't bad enough, Cracker Jack has now completely chinced out on the secret toy as well. I don't know when oversized postage stamp became equivalent with toy surprise, (let alone oversized postage stamp of a flesh colored clam) but i sure do miss the days of plastic Indians and magnifying glasses. Apparently kids are supposed to fold this thing in such a way that by pinching the corners, they can make it talk. Just don't let them tilt their head when they do it. If only they would have anted up enough cash to make this thing a temporary tattoo. I've always wanted a stoned vagina on my arm.