To all those tree hugging hippies out there who might scoff at my SUV, you may want to start pointing your patchouli scented finger at something else you're trying to protect. A recent study shows that the average cow actually emits more greenhouse gasses than a sports utility vehicle. That's right, your beautiful bovine's farts are the top environment killers today. Time to swallow the pride and pick up the patty melt. As for me, I'll just continue to be a perfect balancing act, eating pound after pound of beef for every mile I drive. Now stop finger painting pictures of rainbows and get a job!
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
A Burger A Day Keeps Ozone Depletion Away
To all those tree hugging hippies out there who might scoff at my SUV, you may want to start pointing your patchouli scented finger at something else you're trying to protect. A recent study shows that the average cow actually emits more greenhouse gasses than a sports utility vehicle. That's right, your beautiful bovine's farts are the top environment killers today. Time to swallow the pride and pick up the patty melt. As for me, I'll just continue to be a perfect balancing act, eating pound after pound of beef for every mile I drive. Now stop finger painting pictures of rainbows and get a job!
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3 comments:
I actually wrote a comment, and chose not to post it for fear that I would be barred from posting here again. Oh, I've got a comment. Don't you worry though, you'll definitely hear it...
I want to hear the comment because I'm wondering if it's the same as mine.
If there weren't so many people demanding patty melts, we wouldn't be raising so many beautiful bovines to stink up the place. I don't want to protect cows because they're beautiful- I just don't like what horrors other living beings have to go through to provide me with something tasty.
There's no excuse for you and your SUV. You just have to accept your guilt, just as I have to every time I bite into a burger.
In New Zealand scientists are trying to lower greenhouse gas emissions by changing the makeup of cow and sheep stomachs so they stop producing methane. Playing God a bit. However, the methane comes from the cows' mouths, not butts. Sorry, but cow farts are still just as good for the environment as daffodils.
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