Tears Of A Hoosier

Today we mourn a great sports tragedy... and I'm not referring to the PIllsbury Roid Boy breaking Hank Aaron's record. I'm referring to the fact that one of Indiana's greatest heroes will be signing up to join the horror show that will be the 07-08 Boston Celtics. That's right folks, Scot Pollard will be wearing the evil emerald next season. Pollard may be best known for his glory days of six points and seven rebounds per game in Sacramento, but he truly touched the hearts of Pacers' fans as well in those all-too-short three seasons he wore the blue and gold. It's true, he took his bombastic samurai follicle art and Asian wife to Central Division rival Cleveland last year, but a defection to the gangrenous shamrock shooters is something else entirely. Does anyone really think Boston will have the cultural palate to truly appreciate Scot's magnificent sideburns? I say no, America. No. Even J.O.'s desire to join Satan's Lakers doesn't sting as much as this. Beelzebub can have his oft injured, always whining soul. His double-doubles will feel great till he leaves his kneecap at half court during the fifth game of the season. But Scot? Scot was a living intangible, a circus worth of personality painting the hardwood with hard work and hilarity for two and a half minutes a night. Why, the only Pacer icon that could top this wondrously coifed caveman has to be Reggie MIller himself. Wait... what's that? Read what article? That Baraka-looking bastard. Somebody hand me my Pippen jersey.