Now Ron Mexico Is REALLY In Trouble

While pondering the benefits of accepting a plea bargain for dogfighting charges, Michael Vick must now also face a 63 billion dollar lawsuit by a South Carolina inmate. Jonathan Lee Riches' handwritten lawsuit alleges that Vick stole the plaintiff's two pit bulls from his Florida home, damaged the RFID tracking chips in their collars (as opposed to just removing the collars), and sold the dogs on Ebay to raise money to purchase missiles from the Iranian government. Furthermore, Vick also stole Riches' identity (from his coat) in order to open store accounts with Petsmart and Doggie Warehouse to purchase food for his dogfighting operation. To add insult to injury, the Atlanta Falcons' quarterback violated copyright laws by using the plaintiff's name on his "football outfit and casual clothing" and sells "Jonathan Lee Riches" t-shirts, mugs, and hats. Riches goes on to accuse Vick of being a member of Al-Queda, subjecting him to microwave testing, using drugs in school zones, and being in the business of illegal steroids. He does not, however, accuse him of raping a bear that was indeed his father. He concludes his civil action by asking the court to stop Vick from physically hurting his feelings and dashing his hopes. He also draws a little copyright symbol every time he writes his name.