Everybody For Everybody Or: How To Piss Off As Many NBA Superstars As Possible At Once

Four NBA teams with disgruntled stars are trying to make a deal. Unfortunately, in the unlikely event that it goes through as planned, all four stars may have even more reason to be cranky babies. The proposed deal would send Kevin Garnett from the Wolves to the Lakers, Jermaine O'Neal from the Pacers to the Celtics, Lamar Odom and Andrew Bynum from Los Angeles to Indiana, and a bag full of doodie (Theo Ratliff, Gerald Green, and Sebastian Telfair) and Boston's number five pick to Minnesota. The Wolves, however, would likely hold out for Al Jefferson before okaying the deal. There are already two big problems with all this. First, Jermaine O'Neal hates Celtics director of basketball operations Danny Ainge with the fire of a thousand suns (and an unhappy JO would make an unhappy Paul Pierce); and secondly, even if the Lakers landed KG, Kobe would still want out. Also in the running for Garnett's services are the Dallas Mavericks, who apparently don't have enough perimeter big men who can't carry their team to a championship. One positive note to come from all this is that Bulls GM John Paxson text messaged (that's right, text messaged) Kobe Bryant, telling him not to expect Chicago to try and acquire him. The Bulls were on the short list of Kobe's desired destinations, but Paxson was reluctant to break up his young nucleus and sell his soul to the devil.