Tanked

The Chicago Bears released defensive tackle Tank Johnson today in response to his continuing legal troubles. Tank, who was already suspended for half of the upcoming season, was pulled over by police in Arizona for barely speeding, and arrested, but not charged for a "DUI Impaired to the Slightest Degree". I'm not sure how "slight" we're talking exactly, but I sure hope it was more than a wine cooler's worth, cuz that'd be one expensive Kool-Aid. It would seem Johnson's getting the shaft here, but his earlier charges include misdemeanor gun possession on the same night of his bodyguard's murder, and subsequent possession of six unregistered firearms, a violation of his probation for the other gun charge. Tank likes guns, and beef jerky. And speaking of Kool-Aid and NFL players, Laurence Maroney is a ridiculous human being.