The Large Mammal Gets Shafted

The stage for drama was set early Saturday morning when Derrek Lee got tossed for throwing a haymaker after Chris "The Bitch" Young smashed him with a dirty pitch (in apparent retaliation for Soriano showboating in the last game). After a benches clearing brawl, Carlos Zambrano went on to throw a no-no through seven, even helping his own cause with some amazing fielding. Unfortunately, Marcus Giles hit a piece of poop chopper over the mound for an infield single in the eighth. The only actual run Z gave up during his complete game was a solo homer to Branyan in the ninth. Of course, without their best hitter, the Cubs were unable to overcome even the most pathetic of leads, sporting a goose egg in the run column as the disastrous game came to a close.